So it's no secret for those that know me that my last relationship didn't end well. It happens, we all go through it. We think we've found "the one". We get happy, we get comfortable and then the rug is pulled out from under us. We give up on love, we go into our hole and we get bitter. Some stay in that state longer than others and one could probably argue that some people never emerge from that state. Then you start to get that itch...you start to think "Hey, I'm a pretty decent person. I've been hurt but lets grow from it"...You resolve to try again.
Well, after a slightly false start, I think I'm at the point where I want to try again. It's been a year and a half...I think I've learned what I needed to learn and I'm ready to apply it. lol. Im fairly certain it's coming from a good place because I feel confident in myself. I'm not desperate. I'm not lonely. I'm just feeling ready to share myself again with someone else...let some of the walls down. I've always been a very guarded person anyway but I don't want to be controlled by that anymore.
For awhile I felt myself getting bitter and jaded and falling into that line of thinking "Well they're all the same". The mere fact that I am (or at least how I perceive myself to be) different from how I see most of the guys around here just says that I can't be the only one.
I've always had a very negative view of the gay community. I think it's all smoke and mirrors and 9.9 times out of 10, the people most heavily involved in the scene are the most insecure, messed up people you'll ever come across in life...not to mention the fakest. It's not a healthy, warm, inviting community. So I tend to project that view onto most guys. Most of the time, I'm right. I'm not one for going to clubs hangin out with "the girls" "spilling the t" and shit like that. I'm much more low key. I'd rather have my ass on the couch watchin a movie on a Friday night (mostly because I've gotta get up on Saturday morning and work) than to be shakin it fast to some old queen singing the same one line 98908987 million times to a beat that sounds like tin cans with some bass thrown in.
Well, after a slightly false start, I think I'm at the point where I want to try again. It's been a year and a half...I think I've learned what I needed to learn and I'm ready to apply it. lol. Im fairly certain it's coming from a good place because I feel confident in myself. I'm not desperate. I'm not lonely. I'm just feeling ready to share myself again with someone else...let some of the walls down. I've always been a very guarded person anyway but I don't want to be controlled by that anymore.
For awhile I felt myself getting bitter and jaded and falling into that line of thinking "Well they're all the same". The mere fact that I am (or at least how I perceive myself to be) different from how I see most of the guys around here just says that I can't be the only one.
I've always had a very negative view of the gay community. I think it's all smoke and mirrors and 9.9 times out of 10, the people most heavily involved in the scene are the most insecure, messed up people you'll ever come across in life...not to mention the fakest. It's not a healthy, warm, inviting community. So I tend to project that view onto most guys. Most of the time, I'm right. I'm not one for going to clubs hangin out with "the girls" "spilling the t" and shit like that. I'm much more low key. I'd rather have my ass on the couch watchin a movie on a Friday night (mostly because I've gotta get up on Saturday morning and work) than to be shakin it fast to some old queen singing the same one line 98908987 million times to a beat that sounds like tin cans with some bass thrown in.
Not. For. Me.
So this brings me to my next post...
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