"A piece of me you get for free but it's worthless if we don't have honesty" -Brandy in "Fear of Flying"

So lately in the media (or what I've been paying attention to, I guess) there's been lots of attention on cheating...I suppose this is how we know Usher released a new album :) I've seen some of the comments from the scorned (Tameka Raymonds tweets, anyone?) and then I saw something on VIBE's website from Chilli, and it inspired me. Yes, I realize this whole blog has an unintended Usher theme. lol.

Now let me first prefice this whole sha-bang by saying that I am no saint. I was quite the wild one in my younger years, I think to an extent that everyone is. I've cheated and I've been cheated on (more than once) and I've learned quite a bit from it. I can say with a lot of certainty that there isn't much in life that hurts more than being cheated on. It can break every little piece of self confidence you have, give you SO many unanswerable questions and leave you feeling jaded and bitter. Some people do it for the thrill, some people do it for revenge and some people just do it for no reason at all.

Now not giving a free pass to all the breeders out there, but I will say that I think cheating is FAR more prevalent in the gay community than anywhere else. For some reason, in gay male relationships it seems that monogamy is not a word that exists. One of the main reasons I have NEVER identified, and largely despise, the gay community is because of their blatent disregard for the value of monogamy. Most gay relationships that I've read about or seen in friends all seem to adopt these really weird ideals. Open relationships, which I think are for whores who are too afraid to admit they're whores, I think are a joke and insulting. If you feel like an open relationship is something you want to be in, you shouldn't be in any relationship at all. Sex is SO much more than fulfilling an "urge". Of course I'm cognisant (sp) of the fact that there's TONS of guys I find sexually attractive...but if I'm in a serious relationship, I would never compromise the history of us and the bond of us just to go bust my nut off.

This is largely my own personal opinion on the matter because I find that I'm a very open person. I like to communicate and when there is a problem, I like to address it and get it out of the way. I think cheating involves way too much crazy shit. You're hiding things, you're making time to do shit you have no business doing all the while still doing your regular activities. It creates drama and unrest and in the end, NO ONE feels better about anything. It destroys any and all sense of trust that over time two people build for each other. It's just better and ultimately easier to be honest.

The lesson to be learned? If you don't feel comfortable enough to speak on issues you feel are important or issues going on in your relationship, END IT! Walk away before you hurt someone.

PS-I was going to relay personal experiences in here but I'm trying to be as non-messy as possible. After all, I care about the people in my life and i wouldn't want to expose private matters without their permission :) See? I can be respectful AND honest at the same time. It's possible, people!